Well, I don't have a whole lot of an update to give (frankly, i don't even remember what happened a week ago so it must not have been very exciting), but I just felt like writing something. I guess it's more of a reflection than an update. This weekend I had a beautiful time in Cabarete at the beach and it was much needed. Now I'm back here realizing the shit-ton of work I have to do and it overwhelmed me for a bit, but I've learned not to take it too seriously because it just stresses me out. I figure this program is pretty insane and I don't want to go insane along with it. Getting things done on my own time is better than losing my mind over due dates. Besides, the due dates change so often that half the time no one is even sure when things are due anyway. It's all about remembering that "every little thing is gonna be alright".
But anyway, I got slapped in the face today when I realized I'm not at the beach and I have to get back into the crazy routine that is this program. And yet somehow I am much more calm than I was before. I think I'm getting better at being in the moment and trying to live right now rather than wasting my time worrying about what i "need" to do. It's not that I think the program is worthless, it's just there is a lot of academic stuff that really isn't helping me or anyone else, so I don't see it as worth stressing out about. I know I'll get things done, and most of the time it is on time, but sometimes you just have to put yourself first and say fuck it, tomorrow is just as good. But I'm not here to worry over deadlines, I'm here to meet new people, get to know a new culture, and maybe try doing something that might be helpful to someone. But I also know that it's really hard for me to come in as an outsider and actually to something of worth when I can never fully ever understand the culture, no matter how good my intentions are. However, there are some little ways that I can surely make someone happy at least for the moment. Today I had one of those experiences.
I was walking back from getting migraine meds at the pharmacy and a man came up to me and asked said hi and asked if i spoke english or spanish. I responded "ambos" (both). He said he'd prefer to speak in english since he's Dominican but from New York. Then he proceeded:
"I'm not going to ask you for money, okay, but I want to ask you a huge favor."
"Okay, we'll see," I responded skeptically.
"Will you buy me something to eat at McDonalds?" he pointed across the street. "I'll go with you and you can buy it for me right there. I don't want your money, I'm just hungry and his way you can be sure that I'm not taking money and using it for something else."
I thought about it and decided, why not? McDonalds is right there, I'm going to be buying it and there are plenty of people around just in case.
"Yeah sure, no problem," I told him.
We were right buy the pharmacy and he said, "Well actually do you think you could buy me some baby milk formula for my daughter? I can go in with you and you can buy it and see if the price is okay."
So I agreed and we went in. But I realized that I had just used up most of my cash throughout the course of the weekend at the beach and just then on meds. And $120 was stolen from my hotel room this weekend too. So even though the baby formula was relatively inexpensive for me, I didn't have enough money to buy it. So I called my parents to ask them to transfer money. I really wanted to help the guy, he seemed genuine, and I would need money soon anyway. I had already emailed my mom about the stolen money and since this was the second time I've been robbed, I knew she was a bit angry with me and thinking "you trust people too much". She's right though. So I felt bad asking for more money, especially when I was gonna spend some of it on buying things for a random stranger. Eventually I got money transferred into my bank account and I decided not to tell my parents what I was doing with it just then (although this blog post is gonna give it away....sorry mama and baba haha...I just had to do it). While we were waiting for the money to be transferred, we talked and he told me a little bit about his life. How he dropped out of high school in New York and that's what ended up screwing him over. And he's taking a free computer class right now to learn some skills that can get him a job. Later on I found out that this same man earlier on had also asked another friend on the program, Lexa, to buy him baby milk. She told me that he had been deported from the US for not paying child support, and he has a little over 3 years left before he can go back. Now he's trying really hard to get his shit together and take care of his family.
Anyway, after talking a bit we walked to the ATM and he stayed outside the door while I went in to get money, and then we walked back to the pharmacy. By this time I was pretty sure that this was a genuinely good person who is just trying to do the right thing. We went to the pharmacy and he also mentioned that he would like to get diapers too because he's been ripping up his shirts to use as cloths but his daughter has a rash, but that if it's too much no worries. I decided to buy them too, but by that point I forgot he asked me to buy a meal and could only remember that there was something else he wanted. I wanted to make sure I wasn't going to be spending too much. When I asked what it was he said, "Oh I had asked for food, but I don't want the food now, this is more than enough. I can't believe you are doing all of this for me, it's truly a blessing from God and I don't want to abuse it."
I said that it was fine and that if he is hungry it's not a problem for me to get him something, even just something little, it's not that much money. But he wouldn't take it. So we paid and he asked if there was anything he could do for me in return. I said no, and he was so happy and grateful for the help. Genuinely. He had also mentioned earlier that his mom is diabetic and needed insulin, but that it can't be bought at this pharmacy. But it was only like 100 pesos (less than 3 bucks), so I gave him that and trusted that he would put it to good use. Three things: baby milk, diapers, and insulin. And that made his day. It gave him some of the basic means necessary to take care of his family. And I helped him do that.
It's these little things that I can do here. For awhile I was just so overwhelmed by the poverty that I just ignored everyone. But this guy was just asking for concrete items that he needs. And it's something I can do. I'm not changing his life situation or getting him a job or doing anything sustainable. But I'm doing what I can do right now. I helped out a little and made him happy, at least for the moment. Writing up an academic report and pretending like it's gonna do the people any good is a joke. We're all just pretending. It's the human connections that make a difference. I think that's what I'm here for.
On my walk back from the whole experience, I walked past an old man who looked literally like skin and bone. Sadly my first reaction was, oh at least he isn't missing limbs. It scares me when I catch myself becoming numb to seeing desperation. But then I realized that this old man is in an even worse position than the man I just helped. So I tossed him a 25 peso coin (less than a dollar) and kept walking. It wasn't until later that I realized I should have bought him something from the street vendors instead. Next time. I don't know what he did with that 25 pesos. I'm hoping he bought food, but I can't be sure. I always think of everything I've learned in school and how sustainability is the only way to help and charity doesn't work etc. I still think that's true. But sometimes charity is the only thing you really can do in that moment. Sustainability takes time. I want to do something sustainable in the future, but when I'm walking along the sidewalk, all I can do is charity. And I don't think I should say, well charity isn't going to last so I might as well not do it all, because I think it is just as needed as long as sustainability isn't happening.
At one street corner there is always a Haitian woman holding her baby in one hand and holding her other hand out for money. Outside of one store sits another Haitian woman whose whole body is crippled because power lines fell on her and she couldn't get any help. She says she has a job, it is to ask for money to take care of her two daughters. A man shows his crippled leg to passengers in conchos at stop lights and holds out a cup for money. At the monument, a man with a severely dislocated shoulder asks us for money, but even though we all have drinks in our hands, "somehow" none of us seem to have any to give him. Around lunchtime, two little boys stand outside my house and ask the Doña to give them food. She's done it too many times already, and she can't keep it up, so she ignores them. Dozens of little boys search the city streets for people whose shoes they can shine in order to earn money. A thriving underground sex trade captures the little girls, if not in Santiago itself, in other parts of the country. Lexa tells me that yesterday she visited a house where there was a little girl with a severe cerebral disability and that her sister was also her mother, meaning the father had raped her sister. None of them talked during the visit, but just stared with glazed eyes. The face of poverty and desperation.
It's so overwhelming. Maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better about it and better about my own power to do something. But I do feel like we should each do what we can to help, even if it's only something simple that won't last. I can't change each of those cases of poverty in a sustainable way. It's not feasible. But I can do a little thing that might help out someone with diapers or baby formula for a month and make his afternoon. I guess that's what I can do right now so why not do it. It's about making connections. And putting life into perspective. And knowing that "with all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."
Paz y amor,
~Aysha~
Friday, March 11, 2011
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Río Limpio
Heyyy everyone!
I hope you are all doing well wherever in the world you are. It's been a crazy past couple of weeks here what with the shit going on in Libya and trying to keep up with news from my family there while being in the middle of nowhere with no internet and only one area that gets phone service. But last week was great overall and I must say that even though the crisis in Libya is scary, it's pretty damn awesome at the same time. Anyway, first let me tell you about my week!
We went to a campo called Río Limpio for the week, located on the Haitian-DR border near the city of Dajabon. Here we stayed in cabins instead of with host families and worked with a group called "CREAR" that works to promote organic agriculture not only in their community but also was the pioneer in organic agriculture for the country. They also have a high school there that is two years and students can choose to finish their high school there and learn and work in organic agriculture. Some of them continue with it and others go to the university to study other things afterwards. The campo itself is very poor and is full of Haitians who have fled from their country to a slightly less poor one in hopes of a better future. The kids would always wave and say hi, ask us for money ("dame diez pesos!), and always ask for pictures. We would talk to them, I let them play with my camera, and they are the happiest and most adorable little kids. But they are covered in dirt, smell, many children have pot-bellies from malnutrition, snot hanging from their noses, naked babies running around, very few children with shoes, and rags as clothes. They sit outside their makeshift houses and play in the clay and have a great time just chilling everyday. The amount of poverty in the campo was very shocking, but at the same time, I felt no pity or anything--I mean, it was sad, but they were perfectly content and I know I can't just go in there and change anything, so I decided to just say hi and hang out with them and treat them like anyone else. Everyone was so friendly and treated us like family. I'm not here to change their lives, just to get to know them and make friends. The people are definitely the part I love the most about the campo because there is such a sense of community. In the city people either ignore you or harass you and its just such a loud and noisy environment. In the campo all you hear are trees swaying, birds making exotic sounds, a horse neighing in the distance, people shuffling dominoes and laughing, and silence. It's so relaxing. I feel like just the environment difference brings me back to the present and helps me enjoy every moment, whereas in the city I'm always focused on the future. I'm trying to bring that campo mentality back here with me to Santiago.
Anyway, during the mornings we got to go out into the fields and this old man, Domingo, would teach us the ropes about organic farming. Domingo is like the coolest old man ever, he's like 78 years old and he's that wise, humble, sweet old man that everyone wants as their grandpa. When he talks about the earth and farming, he closes his eyes and furrows his eyebrows and talks with such a passion that you can't help but smile. And he's like in better shape than any of us. The first day we got a tour of all the farmland and learned how to make organic fertilizer using dirt, pig poop, guineo leaves and stems, and straw. We learned how to wield the machete and discovered it's not as easy as it looks. It was hardd workk. The next day we went out to learn how to make a double bed for planting vegetables, which was also veryyy labor intensive. Every afternoon after lunch we would then work on our on-going project of building this awesome stove called "LORENA" at the CREAR center. Our program has built a lot of them in many communities in the past and this time our group of students was learning how to make it alongside the CREAR students and we all had to work together and learn together. We had to go out and "find" clay and dirt and sand and make mud and do lots of digging and lots of building, it was pretty intense because we were on a time limit for getting it done. It was pretty awesome and everyone was proud of it when we finished. It's not like we did something that changes much in the community but it's a little thing that goes a long way. We made friends with some awesome high school students and two of them, Carlitos and Paula, were so cool that I thought to myself "I want to be like you guys when I grow up" haha. We had a bonfire with all of them and it was their first time making smores. And we shared stories, jokes, sang songs, and had a great time.
Thursday I got sick with some kind of virus, or maybe heat stroke, so I was bed-ridden all day, that was no fun. But I felt amazing when I woke up the next morning. It was like I got hit by a train, died and then came back to life. That day everyone else went to visit a biodynamic farm (not even quite sure what that means but it's like even cooler than organic) and had a water fight in the river. Friday we left and headed to Dajabon to go to this huge market that happens every Monday and Friday and they open the Haitian border and people flood in and sell everything you could possibly need or want in order to get money to live. Sadly when we got there the border had been closed because of a Cholera outbreak on the other side. But apparently it can be a very overwhelming experience. We are trying to organize another day trip over there to see it.
Overall it was a great experience, and we were all sad and kind of slapped in the face when we had to leave and get back to the reality of the city life and our crazy program schedule with all our homework. But Saturday we had a retreat for our two-month check-in and went to this awesome Indian-Dominican fusion restaurant called "Blue Moon" in the mountains. They gave us three free drinks of their amazing Blue Moon special and we ate on the floor using platano leaves as plates and our hands as utensils (but only the right hand bc the left hand is reserved for "other stuff"). It was really cool, there was a pool but it was kind of windy and cold so I didn't go in. But it was nice.
Sunday night I went out to Carnaval in Santiago just to check it out since it's right by my house and I hadn't seen it yet. It was pretty cool and a lot more organized than the one in La Vega, also not as hot and there was more space. I was next to this little girl who started talking to me and asked me to take pictures of her with the different people in costume. Then I let her take some pictures with my camera and she wanted me to print them for her, but I told her I couldn't. So she took me over to her dad and I ended up getting his email and sent them to him. Me and the nine year old girl and her little brother hung out all night haha, and went to the monument and checked out all the activities. It was so much fun and then I ended up getting a motorcycle ride home. Good night.
So that's what I've been up to. I'm going to the beach this weekend!!! So exciteddd! It's been way too long. Just gotta get through this week. I went over to my neighbors house on Sunday too to use their internet and he ended up giving me a bunch of TV shows and a movie that he downloaded, so I've been bad about trying to watch House while doing my homework--or rather, trying to do my homework while watching House. Miss you guys! Much love!
Paz y amor,
~Aysha~
p.s. I tried to add pictures, but it's not working right now. If you have fb though, all my pics are there!
I hope you are all doing well wherever in the world you are. It's been a crazy past couple of weeks here what with the shit going on in Libya and trying to keep up with news from my family there while being in the middle of nowhere with no internet and only one area that gets phone service. But last week was great overall and I must say that even though the crisis in Libya is scary, it's pretty damn awesome at the same time. Anyway, first let me tell you about my week!
We went to a campo called Río Limpio for the week, located on the Haitian-DR border near the city of Dajabon. Here we stayed in cabins instead of with host families and worked with a group called "CREAR" that works to promote organic agriculture not only in their community but also was the pioneer in organic agriculture for the country. They also have a high school there that is two years and students can choose to finish their high school there and learn and work in organic agriculture. Some of them continue with it and others go to the university to study other things afterwards. The campo itself is very poor and is full of Haitians who have fled from their country to a slightly less poor one in hopes of a better future. The kids would always wave and say hi, ask us for money ("dame diez pesos!), and always ask for pictures. We would talk to them, I let them play with my camera, and they are the happiest and most adorable little kids. But they are covered in dirt, smell, many children have pot-bellies from malnutrition, snot hanging from their noses, naked babies running around, very few children with shoes, and rags as clothes. They sit outside their makeshift houses and play in the clay and have a great time just chilling everyday. The amount of poverty in the campo was very shocking, but at the same time, I felt no pity or anything--I mean, it was sad, but they were perfectly content and I know I can't just go in there and change anything, so I decided to just say hi and hang out with them and treat them like anyone else. Everyone was so friendly and treated us like family. I'm not here to change their lives, just to get to know them and make friends. The people are definitely the part I love the most about the campo because there is such a sense of community. In the city people either ignore you or harass you and its just such a loud and noisy environment. In the campo all you hear are trees swaying, birds making exotic sounds, a horse neighing in the distance, people shuffling dominoes and laughing, and silence. It's so relaxing. I feel like just the environment difference brings me back to the present and helps me enjoy every moment, whereas in the city I'm always focused on the future. I'm trying to bring that campo mentality back here with me to Santiago.
Anyway, during the mornings we got to go out into the fields and this old man, Domingo, would teach us the ropes about organic farming. Domingo is like the coolest old man ever, he's like 78 years old and he's that wise, humble, sweet old man that everyone wants as their grandpa. When he talks about the earth and farming, he closes his eyes and furrows his eyebrows and talks with such a passion that you can't help but smile. And he's like in better shape than any of us. The first day we got a tour of all the farmland and learned how to make organic fertilizer using dirt, pig poop, guineo leaves and stems, and straw. We learned how to wield the machete and discovered it's not as easy as it looks. It was hardd workk. The next day we went out to learn how to make a double bed for planting vegetables, which was also veryyy labor intensive. Every afternoon after lunch we would then work on our on-going project of building this awesome stove called "LORENA" at the CREAR center. Our program has built a lot of them in many communities in the past and this time our group of students was learning how to make it alongside the CREAR students and we all had to work together and learn together. We had to go out and "find" clay and dirt and sand and make mud and do lots of digging and lots of building, it was pretty intense because we were on a time limit for getting it done. It was pretty awesome and everyone was proud of it when we finished. It's not like we did something that changes much in the community but it's a little thing that goes a long way. We made friends with some awesome high school students and two of them, Carlitos and Paula, were so cool that I thought to myself "I want to be like you guys when I grow up" haha. We had a bonfire with all of them and it was their first time making smores. And we shared stories, jokes, sang songs, and had a great time.
Thursday I got sick with some kind of virus, or maybe heat stroke, so I was bed-ridden all day, that was no fun. But I felt amazing when I woke up the next morning. It was like I got hit by a train, died and then came back to life. That day everyone else went to visit a biodynamic farm (not even quite sure what that means but it's like even cooler than organic) and had a water fight in the river. Friday we left and headed to Dajabon to go to this huge market that happens every Monday and Friday and they open the Haitian border and people flood in and sell everything you could possibly need or want in order to get money to live. Sadly when we got there the border had been closed because of a Cholera outbreak on the other side. But apparently it can be a very overwhelming experience. We are trying to organize another day trip over there to see it.
Overall it was a great experience, and we were all sad and kind of slapped in the face when we had to leave and get back to the reality of the city life and our crazy program schedule with all our homework. But Saturday we had a retreat for our two-month check-in and went to this awesome Indian-Dominican fusion restaurant called "Blue Moon" in the mountains. They gave us three free drinks of their amazing Blue Moon special and we ate on the floor using platano leaves as plates and our hands as utensils (but only the right hand bc the left hand is reserved for "other stuff"). It was really cool, there was a pool but it was kind of windy and cold so I didn't go in. But it was nice.
Sunday night I went out to Carnaval in Santiago just to check it out since it's right by my house and I hadn't seen it yet. It was pretty cool and a lot more organized than the one in La Vega, also not as hot and there was more space. I was next to this little girl who started talking to me and asked me to take pictures of her with the different people in costume. Then I let her take some pictures with my camera and she wanted me to print them for her, but I told her I couldn't. So she took me over to her dad and I ended up getting his email and sent them to him. Me and the nine year old girl and her little brother hung out all night haha, and went to the monument and checked out all the activities. It was so much fun and then I ended up getting a motorcycle ride home. Good night.
So that's what I've been up to. I'm going to the beach this weekend!!! So exciteddd! It's been way too long. Just gotta get through this week. I went over to my neighbors house on Sunday too to use their internet and he ended up giving me a bunch of TV shows and a movie that he downloaded, so I've been bad about trying to watch House while doing my homework--or rather, trying to do my homework while watching House. Miss you guys! Much love!
Paz y amor,
~Aysha~
p.s. I tried to add pictures, but it's not working right now. If you have fb though, all my pics are there!
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